Posted: July 29, 2011 in Ramblings of a sober Poet
Tags: , , , ,


 Imagine dying later today. Crappy thought isn’t it? But just imagine. Kicking the proverbial bucket .Winning that 1st class ticket to the fossil farm. Booking in at R.I.P central to join a thousand Scrap heap of souls at Rotting scull cafe. Have you lived enough to accept death gracefully? Are you ready to let go. Me?I think I’ll stick around a bit longer and see how this life thing turns out. Thanks for the offer though.

Sigmund Freud said”When we attempt to imagine death, we perceive ourselves as spectators.“ Death Is something that happens to other people. Ever confident , “I will live long enough to see all my dreams become reality.”

With me it has always been somewhat different. In my late teens I was plagued with very visual mental flashes of my own death. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? I would be sitting in a taxi or a bus and my mind would ,in a matter of milliseconds, create this chain of events that leads to me checking out of the alive department. The fear of being branded demon possessed had me bottling up all those horrific metaphysical experiences. I walked around dreading that ever approaching moment when my mind would just loose control and introduce me to the inside of a pine box. It has since stopped but those experiences have instilled an obscure interest and fascination with death within me.

I have become driven by a morbid fear of ,not death only, but a death that was preceded by a fruitless life. I want to live forever. Or maybe it is my ego that wants to live forever but the reality is I don’t want to be forgotten. I want to live in the crystal clear memories of those who get to stay behind. So my plan and strategy became this. Create. Do things that matter. Things that deserve being remembered . If You’re a painter then paint , writers write and publish, musicians need to record, invest in other people and so on and so forth. Create pieces of you outside your physical self. So on the day your physical self calls it quits there are bits and pieces of you that will live on.

Look ,I have accepted(albeit reluctantly) the fact that The Black robed one would ultimately come to drag my soul off into the dark unknown afterlife. No matter how deep or philosophical one gets when it comes to this grave topic , the reality of our approaching end is ,uhm, not a nice thought to say the least. That must be the reason why it is not dominating wall to wall conversations on facebook or enjoying millions of retweets and trend status on twitter. We do not talk about the great check out. Unless it is that of someone else, like say Micheal , or Osama. But while we are alive , we do not discuss our own addition to the menu for maggots.

I do however think we should internalize that conversation and question ourselves about the end of this fleshy existence . Ask yourself: have I done enough to go willingly without a fight? Am I happy about the time I spent on the earth. Am I proud of what I have achieved. Is there anything I want to do before boarding that boat to cross the rivers Styx. We can use our approaching death as fuel for a life that needs to be filled with activity and new experiences.

So talk to yourself about it.. It is a topic too morbid and it is a sure way to kill the buzz at any party. So interrogate yourself

And while the music plays and we are dancing around, death sits on the back of the giant Skeletal elephant in the room, holding a bag full of hourglasses.

©Richard Quaz Roodt 2011

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